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I feel so extremely tired and exhausted. Hundred times more tired than I was last year when I was super busy at work every day, when I was volunteering for student's organization, when I had a private English student, when I had salsa classes twice a week and when I was learning Spanish by myself all at the same time and after all that I had time to hang out with my friends and do some other stuff.. Now work is absolutely boring and plus I'm forced to things I don't enjoy doing, so I'm like struggling all the time and hate when I have to go to work in the morning.. Why don't I quit? Because I need money and I need a job. I need a change and I'm doing everything I can to make this change happen. I really hope it happens soon but some things are just not in our control. All you can do is try and have faith. Deep inside I know what I want even though doubts keep popping up in my head, I don't want to stick with something less than that. But I'm just so tired and it takes so much out of me to keep trying after another fail.. Two weeks ago I prohibited myself to have any negative attitude because life is still wonderful :) So many things I hoped for this year failed, but I believe there is a reason for that. I saw hopes of my friends fail too and it was sad to see.

But just like when you are a child and your mom tells you to make a wish and blow candles on your birthday cake and not tell anyone about it, I made my wish and I know it will become real. ;) Well actually I made at least 2 (I'm old so I'm allowed to)! The second one is bigger and is like my life-time wish so it might take longer to become real, but I just KNOW it will and it feels great.